"The Great Penguin Games" is the sixth episode of Happy Feet: Protectors of Emperor Land. It sees Petey trying to assemble a team capable of beating Seymour at the Great Penguin Games.
Plot[]
Petey: Here in Emperor Land, every year we have a competition: The Great Penguin Games. Easily one of the worst times of my year. Of course, every year I have lost to him (Seymour) but this time, I may just have a chance, cause this year, I'm getting my own team. One that's really gonna win this time. We call ourselves: The Petey team.
"He-hay, Katniss. You wanna join team Petey?" Petey asked as he held out a petition to his former crush. However, Katniss took his petition and said "Pete, listen. It's brave of you to do this, but I'm saying this in the least offensive way possible. The only thing I would use this petition for, is to wipe my ass when I'm done in the bathroom, so sorry"
Petey: All I gotta do now is, you know, get some members.
As Petey said this, his devil-horned conscience appeared and said "I say we get old Seymour, outta the picture, eh Petey?"
"That's a good idea. But let's just see what angel Petey has to say"
"I am angel Petey!" the conscience answered before he was blasted by a much taller, red feathered Petey with glowing yellow eyes, who said in a deep booming voice "we must do whatever it takes to win!"
Later on, Johnny was instructing the competitors about the games that were set to be the next day. "Alright then. The games will consist of five events. The "porcupinefish tunnel", the "leopard seal den", the "ice cave maze" the "blindfold obstacle course" and finally, the "two-place triathlon". This is the perfect time of year where you fine young penguins get the chance to prove you are the best! Any questions?"
Katniss stood up and asked "can I volunteer on behalf of my younger sister?" before Ozcar answered with "wrong movie, Katniss. You don't have a sister" Katniss saying "oh yeah. Sorry I forgot"
"Right so, I have the list of volunteered teams. Team Johnny, team members being Andy, Barry, Fantine and of course, myself. Team Seymour, members being Seymour, Mildred, Mordecai and Ed, Team GK, members being only two for this one with Gloria and Katniss. So I guess that's all we ha-"
"WAIT!" Petey shouted."I'm signin' up!"
Katniss was close to laughing as Gloria said "uh, Petey. You have to have a team to do that"
"I'll get a team by tonight. With some serious athletes. Hey Mumble, do you want to be on my team?"
"Well Petey. Unless you have a competitive dancing event I can't really help you" Mumble answered. "Plus, I'm never gonna get in those games while Noah's still kickin' so, yeah nothing I can really do"
"(sigh) okay. Tap dancing disappointment. Hey Ozcar, what about you? You interested?"
"Why would I want to compete against my girlfriend? Marshall was right, you really don't understand women" Ozcar laughed. Hearing that name gave Petey an idea.
Later, Petey sat in his room, which was lit by a single candle made of his own earwax(I don't even know if penguins have that) and explained his plan to his three companions. He said "okay, in order to win the Games tomorrow, I'm gonna need the best team of crackpots there is. I'm gonna need the world's smartest tactician. The world's best 5 mile sprinter, and the world's finest demolition's expert*. Unfortunately, I don't know the first place to look for those three people so I'm just gonna have to do with you guys" to Marshall, Victor and Garner. Garner said "I was told there'd be pie and punch"
"Okay" Petey said, before adding "3.14159265359(look it up)" and following this by punching Garner in the face. Victor then said "I thought this was Alcoholics Anonymous" before Marshall said "and I thought this was a class on what to do when your heart's been frozen", an impatient Petey saying "okay, okay. I have to confess, this is none of those things. You pathetic porkers are gonna be my team, and tomorrow we'll win the Great Penguin Games. The Great Penguin games are a friendly competition held each year for the teenage students of the Antarctic Academy. First founded back in 1981 by the gentoo elder Julius, who apparently was a student back then in 1981. Even though I personally believe that old man Julius looks more like he was a student back in the year million million million million million million million million million million million million(deep breath) million million million million million BC. Anyway, the team left with the most points is the winner and now has proof that they're the best!So nerds, are you with me!?"
Later on, Katniss and Gloria were sitting on the edge of the arena, having their usual girl talk. Petey walked to the entrance and whispered "okay. Team:check. Sign up: check. Michael Jackson music:check. Okay, let's do this" before kicking down the door and saying "sign me up, Johnny!" with the others behind him as Marshall held a radio. Marshall inserted the disc titled "Michael Jackson Thriller" into the radio and pressed the button. However, the song on the radio was not Thriller, but rather had lyrics that read:
I-I-I-I'm hooked on a feeling,
I'm high on believing,
that you're in love with me...
Lips as sweet as candy,
it's taste is on my mind
girl you got me th-
Petey threw the radio on the floor, shattering it instantly, saying "sorry. Wrong song" as he said "okay. I've got my team. Not a chance of Seymour winning this time, right Team Petey" to his crew, who didn't answer. After Petey had signed up, Gloria and Katniss observed his team members, Katniss saying "aw. I wanted to be with Anna" before Gloria said "but team GK always has two members" before Katniss said "yyyyyeeeeeaaaaahhhhh. I was...originally going to call the team...team...MK"
"WHAT!" Gloria shouted, "You were going to replace me!"
"Hey no offense Gloria, but I was always the one running the show here"
"You son of a fish! We'll see who's running the show when I'm using your tongue for a treadmill!" Gloria shouted. Petey was the first to see this and said "Anybody got a camera" before walking over to the two girls and sarcastically saying "you know I really hope this doesn't end in violence between you two" quietly saying "oops" as he pretended to lose his footing and pushed Katniss into Gloria, the latter punching Katniss in the beak and tackling her to the ground. Petey kept his eyes glued to their fight as he said "oh come on Katniss. You know better than to fight with Gloria" before "accidentally" putting a blow torch in Katniss' reach, the latter grabbing it and trying to hit Gloria. Petey continued to taunt them as he said "come on Gloria. Remember what happened last time?" before throwing a knife to Gloria, who used it to slash Katniss across the flipper, Katniss screaming in anger as their fight became much more brutal, the two now being on the floor throwing massive blows to each other. "come on. You two love each other" Petey said before putting forward an arsenal filled with maces, swords, axes, sais, tridents, clubs, hammers and nunchucks, saying "these are here if you want them" as he sat to see the fight. After a while, a beaten and battered Katniss let go of Gloria's neck, stood up and said "we shouldn't be fighting like this. We're on the same team. I'm sorry that I tried to replace you Gloria. Make up?" an equally beaten Gloria smiling as she answered "make up" before Katniss helped her friend to her feet, both of them turning to see Petey while he chanted "kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! No? Not happening? okay, sorry" before Katniss grabbed the arsenal and emptied it onto Petey and stormed out. Marshall pulled Petey out of the pile of lethal weapons and said "shouldn't we be training for the games tomorrow?"
After this, Petey and his team were on the outskirts of Emperor Land. Marshall had suggested that they practice how to maintain balance both physically and mentally. And so this exercise involved the team doing an unusual alien activity called "Yoga". Petey had initially objected to this, but the others unanimously agreed that they would practice doing Yoga...blindfolded...balancing on one foot...on two inch wide icicles. Petey of course lasted the shortest duration of the group, falling off of the icicle moments after putting on his blindfold, and even that took at least five minutes. Petey picked himself off of the floor and said "well, we'll never get in shape at this rate! Cue cool 80s training montage!" before turning on his new record player.
Silent darkness creeps into your soul.
"Come on guys! Let's see some hustle!" Petey shouted to his team as they ran up and down the stairs of the Antarctic Academy.
And removes the light of self-control
Garner suddenly tripped and fell down the stairs and on top of Petey, who struggled to breathe under the larger penguin's weight.
The cave that holds you captive has no doors
Petey recorded their 2 lap time as 5:57 and threw the alien stopwatch on the floor and stormed out.
Burnin' with determination
To even up the score
Hearts on fire Strong desire
Rages deep within Hearts on fire Fever's rising high The moment of truth draws near
In order to fix his team, Petey had them lifting large snowballs attached by an icicle. Petey himself tried to lift one before finding himself flattened by snow.
Time will not allow you to stand still, no
Next the group were doing pushups. Each member took turns while Petey sat on his or her back shouting verbal abuse.
Silence breaks the heart and bends the will
Mumble then filmed Petey climbing a massive ice mountain, until he turned the camera around and realised that Petey was actually crawling across the floor.
And things that give deep passions are your sword
Petey then had each of his team mates lift a massive block of ice by pulling on a rope. Petey also gave it a go, only for the rope to break and Petey to be flattened by the ice.
Rules and regulations have no meaning anymore
Hearts on fire Strong desire Rages deep within Hearts on fire Fever's rising high The moment of truth is here Is here
Finally the day of the games came. Petey had his team march in single file up to the arena, where a crowd of students had gathered to watch the games. Hellas and Aleksei sat on the arena's edge with megaphones to provide commentary. Hellas started with "citizens of Emperor Land, I welcome you all...to the Great Penguin Games! Our first event is the porcupinefish tunnel" to which Aleksei responded with "it's a good day for running through tunnels" as the contestants lined up to the starting line, Hellas continuing with "this is the startin' line. The line over there is the finish line! first team to cross it, gets the points!". Each team came together to devise their strategy. Team Johnny agreed on "right, stick together, and focus on the finish!" Team GK's was "look away from the ammo, and go till the end" Team Seymour decided to "keep going till the end of the line(Winter Soldier reference)" and Petey simply said "I am gonna beat Seymour over that finish line". Finally, Hellas had a small krill bite Aleksei on the foot, the latter letting out a high-pitched shriek which symbolized the starting gun, the teams setting off to the race. As they ran, small but sharp porcupinefish were slingshot at them. Gloria was hit in the arm with one and fell to the floor, Katniss helping her the rest of the way. Team Johnny were quickly dodging the flying fish. Mordecai was the only member of Team Seymour to be hit with one, Mildred carrying him. However, when it came to Team Petey, Petey raced ahead of his team and was quickly covered in porcupinefish. Marshall was hit in the stomach and backside with one, Victor took one to the face, and Garner even swallowed one. Petey quickly overtook Teams GK and Johnny, and was inching behind Seymour, both of them jumping for the finish at the same time. However, Petey jumped too soon and found himself landing face first on the floor inches away from the line, as Hellas said "Team Seymour get three points!" Petey quickly scrambled across the finish line and cheered, Ozcar and Mumble laughing as Ozcar said "good way to blow it, Pete". Petey responded to this with "you know, second place isn't that bad" only for Hellas to say "second place team GK! Two points!" Petey turning and saying "wait. What? But I go-" Mumble explaining with "your whole team has to cross" Hellas again saying "third place Team Johnny! One point! And finally, with no points at all, Team Petey" as Marshall, Victor and Garner limped over the line, Garner saying "I can't feel my tongue!" as Hellas added "well everyone, in tirty(he's Irish) minutes, we'll be doing the Leopard Seal den" Petey angrily kicking a block of ice which hit Aleksei in the head, knocking him out instantly.
Before the teams entered the leopard seal den, Mumble talked to Petey to try and get him to stop this. "Petey, you're gonna get yourself and your team killed if you carry on at this rate" Petey saying "look, I know they're a working progress but that's where I come in. I'm gonna carry the team!" only for Mumble to say "oh yeah, and who's gonna carry you?" Petey responded to this with "hey. I asked you to be on my team and you said no. So in case you don't mind twinkle toes, I suggest you go and get a seat. And bring some water,
- cause I'm about to set the show on fire!"
Mumble walked over to the stand and saw Hellas and Aleksei getting ready to start the show, Aleksei now wearing a bandage over his head. Hellas said "and now our contestants must find their respective flags and venture into the leopard seal den!"
"It's a good day for running through tunnels" Aleksei added. Petey said "Victor. Is it set up?" Victor answering "perfectly" before Hellas said "and 3. 2. 1. Get going!" all the contestants running through the den. Victor saw one of team Petey's flags hanging over a sleeping leopard seal. He quickly jumped up and grabbed it before pressing a button on his arm and setting off the 20lbs of TNT that were underneath the seal, leaving only an eye and a small pile of teeth. Katniss and Marshall raced to get to their respective flags, before Marshall pressed her button in order to detonate the dynamite next to Katniss, the latter being unharmed yet thrown across the room. Garner ran into Mordecai and said "oh look. Punch!" Mordecai turning around and allowing Garner to hit him in the back of the head before grabbing his flag. Seymour finally reached the finish line with all four of his team's flags, only for Petey to say "hey buddy. How's it like to lose for once?" as Hellas said "Team Petey wins! Three points!" Petey turned to the team and said "hey guys. Ya hear that. I did it. I actually won. My first points ever. I like beating Seymour. Wow, I feel good. Actually, I feel taller. Am I taller? No, don't answer that" as Ozcar asked Mumble "is Petey gloating?" Mumble answering with "I don't know. I've never seen him gloat before" Victor saying to Garner "so Joe. Who did you blow up?" Garner answering "blow up?" before the den suddenly blew to bits, Mumble saying "so that's what he meant".
The following event was the ice cave maze, where the contestants had to get through the maze as quickly as they could. Team Seymour ran quickly in a group and crossed the finish line, only for Hellas to say "second place Team Seymour! Two points!" Seymour turning around and seeing Petey waving and blowing kisses to the crowd, before showing off his blow torch, Seymour realising the massive holes that had been burnt into the ice maze. Next there was the blindfold obstacle course, where Team Petey passed each obstacle thanks to Marshall's yoga training. Hellas once again said "Team Petey winds! Three points. The total for Team Petey is 9 points, they tie with Team Seymour. Tomorrow one member of both teams will compete in the ultimate tiebreaker: the two place triathlon!"
Petey said "Okay guys. Don't worry. I'm gonna win this thing!" before Marshall said "how dare you!"
"What do you mean?"
"You can't just take credit for everything that we've done for you! Victor brought the dynamite, I did the blindfolded yoga, and the blow torch was Joe's idea. You're a bad winner Petey, and we're done being your little soldiers. See you round jerk!" Marshall snapped as the three left. Petey simply said "go on then. Fine. Who needs you. There's no "team" in "I", and I can do this all by myself."
The next day, Petey and Seymour gathered at the finish line, Hellas saying "well, this is it everyone. The final event. Whoever wins this race shall be the ultimate winner of the champion of the Great Penguin Games" before the race began, Seymour held out his flipper and said "may the best penguin win" only for Petey to slap his hand away and say "I plan to". Aleksei was once again bitten by a krill and sounded the "starting gun", both racers running toward the finish line. Moriarty and Johnny started pushing massive snowballs down the hill, Petey slipping and sliding as to avoid being flattened. They then started part 2 of 3: climbing the ice wall, Seymour being in front as they climbed the mountain. Katniss and Gloria were to throw large ice cubes at them to slow them down. Katniss, seeking payback for Petey causing a fight between her and Gloria, threw her biggest cube first, Petey taking it to his face and almost falling to his death. But he still carried on up the mountain, Aleksei saying "ooh. I love a good berg to the face!". At the top of the mountain, Rappa(Seymour's skua) and Deathstroke(Petey's skua) were waiting for part 3: flying the full circle. Seymour reached the top of the mountain first and set off on Rappa, Petey using Deathstroke's speed to catch up and then overtake them. Petey was coming up fast to the finish line. His heart was pounding. His flippers were sweating. He could practically taste the victory. However, for a split second, he turned. He saw his team mates, and the disappointment on all their faces. He saw the sadness reflected on himself. He suddenly didn't feel like winning anymore, slowing down Petey and stopping just before the finish line. Petey stood still, Seymour whizzing past and crossing the line, winning once again. Marshall saw this and stared, her confused glare soon becoming a proud smile once she had realised what Petey had done. Petey jumped off of Deathstroke, his former team mates walking up to him as Marshall said "good job Pete. Sorry you didn't win"
Petey simply smiled and said "it's okay. I guess Seymour was just the better penguin, that's all" only for Marshall to say "no Petey. No one was a better penguin than you today" before she left, Victor and Garner following her after Garner said "you may have lost the race, but you did it for us Petey. Someone who has the sheer craziness to do that's a winner in our book" Petey saying "I guess this means you won't be on the team next year then" only for Victor to say "you kidding. We wouldn't miss it for the world" as the three walked away. Petey looked at where they had gone and simply smiled.
Petey: Yep. That's right, second place again. But it's okay, cause I realised something. There's somethings in the world that are more important than being a winner. Like being a good friend. Even if those friends are, you know,those guys, ha ha.
CAST
PETEY
RYAN REYNOLDS
MARSHALL
KRISTEN BELL
MUMBLE
ANDREW GARFIELD
VICTOR
LIEV SCHRIEBER
GARNER
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
OZCAR
DANE DeHAAN
HELLAS
MICHAEL FASSBENDER
ALEKSEI
PAUL GIAMATTI
KATNISS
JENNIFER LAWRENCE
GLORIA
EMMA STONE
SEYMOUR
WILL. I. AM
JOHNNY
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH
PETEY'S ANGEL/PETEY'S DEVIL
NOLAN NORTH
Trivia[]
- This is the second time that Gloria and Katniss have gotten into a fight. However, this time the two seem much more evenly matched, as opposed to Katniss beating up Gloria with ease.